Top 5 tips for new mums

Nothing can prepare you for the arrival of your bundle of joy.  It's a rollercoaster of emotions, from utter ebullient blissful happiness, to worry, fear and constantly questioning if what you're doing is right.  While everyone will have a different experience, I've put together a bit of a list on the things I'd have appreciated someone telling me before Squidge's arrival.

1.  It's ok not to breastfeed

I really battled with this.  Before even trying for a baby, I'd always assumed I'd breastfeed, what I didn't expect was for Squidge not to be able to.  After weeks of trying, it became apparent that it wasn't going to work for us.  I'd expressed as much milk as I could for the first 2 months of his life, so he had a great start and had the milk protecting him from nasty bugs etc.  There's also the added pressure of the 'Brest is best' mentality - while they're right, it doesn't mean you have to physically breastfeed - you can express.  Whatever you decide to do (i.e. breast milk or formula) it has to be what's best for you and your little one, only you can decide that :)

2.  Do what's right for you

What works for me, and other mummies might not work for you.  I've read in countless places 'Don't let your baby fall asleep on you', but if that's the only way your baby is falling asleep, you have to do what is right for you.  I actually love Squidge falling asleep on me and don't mind at all.  If that's what he needs to help him sleep, well that's fine by me.  I will at some point have to wean him from that - and in fairness, he doesn't always fall asleep that way - but when you've been awake until 5am/6am for 2 weeks running, you'll do anything to get them to sleep.  So whether it's about sleeping, feeding, or whatever, just remember that you have to do what works for you.

3.  Let technology help you

Something I've recently started doing is using a couple of apps - one is called 'Baby Feed' on Android and the other is The Wonder Weeks (this one you have to pay for, it's about £1.69 or something).  Baby Feed you use to track feeds, nappies, naps, baths etc - you can log how much they've had, how long they've fed/napped and when you've had dirty nappies.  This is great as most of us are living as a perpetual zombie and it can be hard to remember when they had their last feed, especially if they have colic and have been constantly crying in between feeds.  My advice is to not get too hung up on it though, don't worry too much about the quantities and when they're feeding, for me it's just a mental prompt that they're due or how long feeds are taking etc, and it's nice to see how much he's sleeping.

The Wonder Weeks is fab as it shows you when your child is about to go through a developmental leap during their first year.  During each leap, they tend to be more grizzly, and you'll notice they'll develop new abilities, it's really interesting to read and see the correlation as they go through it.

4.  Don't compare your baby to other babies

All babies are different and will have their first smile/giggle/step etc at different times.  It's easy to see a friends baby who's a couple weeks younger than yours, seeing them giggle before your baby and think there's something not right about yours.  But, babies all develop at different rates, yeah theirs might have smiled first, but yours might crawl first, or maybe they won't do anything first, it really doesn't matter - as long as they're on track (roughly) for them, that's all that matters.  If you do use The Wonder Weeks app, you'll know it's all based on their due date anyway, so it could be that your baby was early, and theirs was late, so they're ahead in brain development anyway as they're technically older :)  

5.  It's ok to sit in your PJ's all day

I still do it and I don't care!  If you've had a bad night (or even if you haven't), don't feel bad about answering the door with greasy hair up in a bun, PJ's on and baby sick down your top.  Your a mother who's just brought life into this world and your life is all about them.  It takes everything you have to look after them, and grab moments of sanity during their naps, so don't worry if you have days or weeks where you just need to forget about putting on makeup, or getting dressed - it's all about doing what's best for you :)

(Oh and I have a secret 6th tip - it's about housework... yeah that thing.  Housework is something that'll get done when it gets done.  Yeah it's not ideal, but then you're dedicating your life to raising an infant who can't do anything for themselves.  So while you're doing that, it's ok to let the hoovering or tidying slip, you're only human after all)

I hope you found them useful and if you have any tips like that you'd like to share, just leave them in a comment below :)  If you haven't had your baby yet, why not have a read of my newborn essentials guide?

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