For the first 7ish weeks of Squidge's life, he had his days and nights mixed up and it was a nightmare. I think it must be quite common with Autumn/Winter babies, as often in the day it's dark and bleak, and in the evenings we have the lights on making it bright. We got to the stage where we were up with him until about 6am night after night and it was horrific... we didn't know what we were doing wrong, but we were doing the same thing every night and hoping for a different result (definition of insanity non?), so we made some changes, and we saw immediate results.
While I'm sure there's many different ways to help fix this, this is what worked for us. That's not to say it'll necessary work for you, but if you're anything like I was, and you're reading this, then I'm sure you're willing to try anything, I know we were.
Routine is so important. It doesn't necessarily matter what time you do this routine, it can change day-to-day, but the going-to-bed part is really important, so that when you go through the motions, they'l know this means it's sleep time. Here's what we do every night, the time varies depending on when his feeds fall, but it's about 8-9pm each night.
I take him upstairs and put his lamp on the lowest setting in his nursery. I change his nappy and don't talk to him - the feed before this one is where I'd change him into his sleepsuit, I find doing it as part of the going to bed routine wakes him up to much as he's started to cry when we change his clothes.
Then, with my warm bottle, we go into the bedroom where his moses basket it, leaving the light off so that just the light from his nursery lights up our room, I just need it light enough to see his face to be able to feed him. I sit on the bed and feed him in the dark, again not speaking to him. It's a very quiet and calm feed. Even if he cries, I don't speak to him, but I will make ssssssh sounds while I'm trying to get him sleepy.
Once the feed is done, I burp him, once that's done I cuddle him, put his dummy in and rock him until he's sleepy. Once he's sleepy I put him down in his moses basket and usually he'll fall right asleep. If he starts crying, I'll pick him back up, get him sleepy and put him back down, it's just repeating those steps.
I walk away and head downstairs and watch him on the monitor - we'll only go back up to him if he's really crying, or if he's spat the dummy out - usually just putting that back in is enough to send him straight back off, even if his eyes are wide open. The first night we tried this, he didn't wake up until about 1am for that feed, this went on for about a week or so, then he dropped that feed and started sleeping through until about 7-8am.
I'm realistic in that I know it could all chance, especially when he's teething, but for now he's sleeping through the night, and getting regular naps in the day (about 2-3 hours in the morning, and about 30-60 mins after or before each feed in the day). Sleep is super important for babies, they're learning so much and doing so much growing that they really need to rest, it helps them retain all the things they've just learned. The days when he doesn't sleep much in the day time we really see a difference in him, he'll be much more grouchy and cries a lot more, so we know he needs it.
One thing to be careful of, this routine does lend itself to you letting them fall asleep on you first, which is a habit that I've gotten into that I'm in the process of breaking, and so far so good :)
The biggest things to remember:
- Stick to the routine, even if it doesn't work straight away, the routine itself is really important
- Do the last feed in the dark
- Don't speak to them during the last feed, it needs to be quiet & calm
- Make day-time feeds more happy and fun, chat away to them so they can see the different between day and night feeds
I hope that's been helpful, please leave a comment if you try this and let me know how you get on. Or if you've fixed the same problem but a different way, please do leave a comment with your tips for other mums & dads :)
Great post. I think routine is so important and it's something I want to get into straight away if I can. My best friend has also given me the advice of doing the last feed in the dark and not talking to baby whilst having that feed or if they wake up for one in the night. just feed them and put them straight back down without talking. Her little boy is 3 now and is still really good at going to bed. It is something I really want to try and do, though I can see it being hard to begin with when all I will want to to do is stare and talk to this amazing little baby I have. lol. xxx
ReplyDeleteGreat post, some really helpful tips for people. Routine and calmness is so important. I started it with my twins much earlier than I did with my first son and it worked great! I needed those decent nights sleep with twins to deal with during the day.
ReplyDeleteAhh, I'm feeling nostalgic for those early days with my little ones now! Routine worked really well for us too, there seemed to be a three day rule- first day it didn't seem to be working, but if we stuck to the same thing for three days they would get into the habit. Hope the good sleeping continues!
ReplyDeleteGosh I remember those days! They soon pass... looking back it's easy to say that!! I would have loved a blog like this for help when mine were teeny. Great post!
ReplyDeleteAww this is such good advice. With my two I just fed them every time they cried during the day (unless it was for something obvious like a poop lol). They'd drink as much as they wanted and then sleep through every night as their tummies were full and they didn't need extra feeds. I think this worked with both of them from around 4-5 weeks old, but obviously I wouldn't expect it to work for everyone lol.
ReplyDeleteI would always say the same things to them as I laid them in their moses baskets at night as well and I think they soon start to realise that you're saying goodnight to them and that it's time for bed.
I wish you the best of luck for teething time. I had one who cried lots during the night and one who found he preferred to sleep through the pain!!
Louise x
Confessions of a Secret Shopper
Thanks Alice :) You're right, routine is really important. It's not such a big deal in the early days (first couple of months) as you really take their lead in what they need, but after those first few weeks, routine will really them them and you :) Squidge has pretty much always woken up at night every 2-3 hours, until we implemented this :)
ReplyDeleteIt's such a good habit to get into, for us and them :)
ReplyDeleteI think we must have been lucky, it pretty much worked for us from day 1, at least, he'd wake up for a 1am feed for the first week or so, then he dropped that too :)
ReplyDeleteYeah they really do pass quickly, on reflection. Time just flies so quickly :)
ReplyDeleteYeah routine, however it's done is really important. Thanks re:teething - it's horrible so far (day 3 of it now). We've been using teething gel, which works quite well, albeit not for long. And I picked up some Ashton & Parsons powder (first day of it today, and used the gel less), and some Nelsons (haven't used that yet) - but we had a terrible day today, he just wouldn't sleep (during the day), so he got over tired and very grizzly... he's asleep now thank goodness, with an almost sane mother!
ReplyDelete