20 week scan update & results

As many of you know, today was a big day for Squidge and I.  It was our 20 week scan.  There were many nerves, worries and fears on the lead-up to it, right up until the actual scan.

Before the scan we (hubby and I) both had dentist appointments in the morning, and both were sent away with a clean bill of health, whoop!  We got to the hospital with about 40 mins to spare, so settled down and had a Starbucks (decaf of course!) while we waited.  After heading up to the Ultrasound department we paid our £3 for a picture ahead of the scan and waited.  Man alive was it warm up there!

After about a 10 min wait we were called in.  The sonographer was lovely (much nicer than the last one!) and set about the 40 min scan... it took ages!  Squidge wasn't being compliant and lying in an awkward position but she managed to check most things (heart, stomach, bladder, kidneys etc) - then half way through the Ultrasound machine crashed!  After a 5 min restart we were away again!

Unfortunately, because Squidge was being, lets say, difficult, she wasn't able to see all the things she needed to, so I need to go back in 2 weeks for another scan in the hope that Squidge will be in a better position.  It was such a relief to see their heartbeat and see that they were the size they were supposed to be, such a relief!!!!  I feel so lucky.  She did reassure us that she wasn't worried about anything, and it's just that she needs to tick everything off on her checklist :)

*EDIT* Meant to say - I also have an anterior placenta (at the front) which is why I haven't felt much/any movement from Squidge :)

Next, the bit you've been waiting for, the gender!!!!  Well, she had a good look and decided it was a very close call.  Her words to us were: 'It's *possibly* a girl'.

So there you have it, inconclusive!!!  She thinks Squidge might be a girl, as she couldn't see a willy but she really wasn't sure and said it very cautiously.  I would have thought that in all her scanning, if it was a boy she'd have seen his bits, but who knows, so we're carefully going with it being a girl, but not committing ourselves to it :P

When I go back in 2 weeks for a re-scan, I'll be asking them once again to check :P


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20 week pregnancy update

Top to Bottom, left to right

New midi rings from Dorothy Perkins, my new haircut (before re-dying it, this is 6 months of re-growth), New necklace from Dorothy Perkins (totally fell in love with it) and Matilda looking as beautiful as ever

I almost can't believe it, I'm half way through!!!!!!!

MY WEEK
I've had a pretty good, ok week overall.  Went to the Drs Monday morning to speak to her about my swollen feet and lack of protein in my diet, the Dr was really good - she said the swollen feet are down to the hot weather we had last weekend, and it's not likely to be pre-eclampsia as that doesn't generally appear until you're gone 30 weeks.  She told me not to worry about the lack of protein, despite me not getting near enough - she said that the baby will be fine and it'll be me who suffers, and that if I was really lacking in it, I'd be craving foods with protein in :)

SYMPTOMS
Tiredness (napping lots), not sleeping very well, I keep waking up with an achy side.  Still nauseous, not feeling sick in general, but still wretching when brushing teeth, blowing nose, smelling something bad like the ever-so-stinky camembert that was in the work fridge... OMG that was horrific!!!!

WEIGHT & DIET
Back down to pre-pregnancy weight - I think the gain last week was due to the swollen feet.  It does worry me though, is Squidge still growing, are they even still alive... My bad eating habits could well be the reason for this - and by 'bad' I mean, I haven't been eating that much most days as my appetite isn't what it was... here's a typical day for me:

Breakfast - bowl of Waitrose honey nut flakes & soya milk, or a Oatso simple porridge
Lunch - Greggs cheese salad baguette, diet coke (maybe some crisps)
Dinner - 2 medium jacket potatoes with a little butter, salt and pepper
Snacks - *IF* I have any, I might have fruit, or a graze box, very occasionally some Starburst

BUMP
No real noticeable growth, still a firmness just under my belly button - and my friends think I'm showing, but I think that's wishful thinking :P  There's certainly nothing obvious and if someone looked at me, they certainly wouldn't think I was pregnant, just bigger than I was :P

NEXT SCAN/APPOINTMENT
27th May 20 week scan - TOMORROW!!!!!!!! Hopefully, by around 11am tomorrow, I'll know that Squidge is ok, and if they're team blue or pink :) (I'm betting on team blue)

BABY STUFF
I was about to say I didn't get anything but then the hubby reminded me that even though I said I wasn't going to buy anymore baby stuff until after the scan, I did have a real urge mid-week to buy something, so I popped to Tiger and picked up a few decorative bits for Squidge's room like giant pencils (very giant!) for the shelves, opposable thumb toys (for when they're older), some food containers, little yellow rubber ducks for the bath :D

I'll be blogging tomorrow night too with the results of the scan, even if it's bad news - so check back Tuesday evening if you want to find out if we're team blue or team pink!!!

Oh an irritating note, my hair straighteners which I've had for just over a year, broke this weekend.  My new hair cut really needs them... I've literally used them about 8 times, and they're barely getting warm  :(  Not impressed!


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Baby shopping list

Left: Baby bouncer bought in Aldi (great value, £14.99).  Right, the pink lining changing bag I bought.

Sorry I haven't really posted much this week, I've been pretty tired and de-motivated - not to worry, I'm back now though :D

I thought instead of writing up loads of haul posts, I'd create this one shopping list post, and then every time I buy something from the list, I'll cross it off and update the post with a picture.  I'll be doing haul posts of baby clothes and things like that too, this is more for the stuff and not the fashion :)

So, without further ado, here's our shopping list!

• Cot
• Travel cot
• Baby bouncer (standard)
• Baby bouncer (with music & that rocks)
• Changing table
• Chest of drawers
• Cot mobile
• Pram
• Car seat
• Moses basket
• Mattress & bedding
• Change bag
• Play mat/gym
• Carpet for the nursery
• Paint for the nursery
• New blinds & curtains for the nursery
• Baby monitor
• Nursing chair
• 2 x Changing mats (one for upstairs, one for downstairs)

I'm sure there's things I've forgotten, if there is I'll come back and add them to the list :)  Once I've had the 20 week scan on Tuesday, and *if* everything is pretty much ok with Squidge, then we'll start buying the big stuff, although saying that, we need to sort out our bedroom first, so we might not start buying the baby stuff for a little while yet as we'll have no where to store it otherwise :P  Who knows, I might not be able to resist the urge though :P

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19 week pregnancy udpate

Top - Bottom & Left - Right
A book I'll be reviewing on here in coming weeks, it's a bit of a beast, so it's slow progress, but I've made a start on it finally.  The view from my desk window at the weekend, so pretty with Caerphilly mountains as the backdrop.  My desk after deciding to throw out a load of my old makeup.  My Nica bag, the strap broke after about 10 months, not impressed.  A hand cream I'm trying out for my beauty blog, not very happy with it so far.  And finally, a new nail polish I've been wearing - after a week of wear and only one coat, it was practically chip free!

I can't believe it's only one week to go until my 20 week scan! I'm so happy about that!!!!!  I just want to get to the scan and know everything is ok with Squidge and whether we're having a boy or girl :)

MY WEEK
It's been a bit of a funny week.  My jeans... well, they were getting tighter on the waist band when sitting (so tried the hairband trick), but they're getting baggier around the legs and everywhere else... doesn't make for a very flattering look.  So I invested in some maternity jeans from Bon Prix who do plus size maternity wear, and I have to say, I'm pretty impressed.  They're nice and clingy, just how I like my jeans, and they don't dig in at my waist.  There's not a whole lot of room to grow in them though, so we'll have to see how my pregnancy progresses.

SYMPTOMS
Much the same.  Still have the nausea when brushing my teeth, blowing my nose or hearing something disgusting etc.  Still very achy and quite tired, I get tired really easily too which isn't fun, I just can't seem to do anything anymore without needing a nap.

WEIGHT
Up 4lbs on two weeks ago (last time I weighed myself) - I seem to fluctuate between this, and staying the same as pre-pregnancy.

DIET
This is where my week has been funny.  So, I was reading a pregnancy book last week and about being vegetarian and mum-to-be and I read that pregnant ladies need 75g of protein a day, to keep a healthy baby, and that protein is the #1 most important thing you need to consume.  Well, it's fair to say, on a typical day I probably get 15-20g of protein, not even enough for a non-preggers lady.  So I've been on a mission to try and eat more protein - 2 days of the last week I've managed to have over 70g, but it's been a real chore.  I'm going to have to buy more lentils and beans as they're packed full of it :) Also going to see the Drs, as I think most of the way I'm feeling in the symptoms bit above is down to a big lack of protein, hopefully he'll be able to help.

BUMP
Same as before, I don't look pregnant, but when I like down I can feel a firmness.  Still not felt any kicking, possibly some fluttering, but it's hard to tell if it's just a twitch (that's what it feels like, and is often after I sneeze).

NEXT SCAN/APPOINTMENT
Tuesday 27th May, WHOOP!

BABY STUFF
Bought nothing new this week other than the maternity jeans.  Once the scan is done and if everything looks ok, we'll go nuts :)


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Project nursery #1

At the weekend I was back home in Pembrokeshire visiting my Step Dad.  When I was there I was helping to sort through some of mums old stuff and go through some old boxes, and I found some of my old sketch pads.

To give you a bit of background, I've always drawn, and I'm pretty good at it.  I used to do pet-portrait commissions, I studied art at college and went on to do Graphic Design at uni.  Drawing and painting is something that if you cut right through me, would be there - it's who I am.  I haven't drawn in a while though as I've been lacking inspiration.

But after going through all my old sketch pads I had the 'urge' again.  So I thought I'd start up my first project for the nursery - I'm going to draw & paint some cartoon characters, some are ones I love, like Totoro from My neighbour totoro and Jiji (the cat) from Kiki's delivery service.  And others are ones that I think Squidge might like, i.e. Peppa pig.  Each will be a square, about 10"x 10" - they'll be framed and arranged on the wall in the room :)

I had toyed around with the idea of painting a big mural on the wall, but I prefer this idea, it's a bit neater & I can change it up more easily.  What I might even do, is a big totoro on a tall narrow frame, and then lots of smaller square ones to go around him (I'm a little bit obsessed with Totoro - in fact, I have one sitting behind my laptop) :)

As I create each picture, I'll do a blog post so you can see it, and eventually when the nursery is done (months away!) I'll do a little nursery tour so you can see them on the walls :)


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Wishlist Wednesday - Luxuries

When I thought about the stuff I needed to buy now that we're having a baby, it was all about things like a cot, pram, moses basket, baby grows, nappies, bottles, muslin cloths, socks - all that kind of stuff. What I didn't give much thought to is all the other stuff we 'need' - things which maybe aren't essential, but are great to have, and I'm sure some mums out there will say they're more of a 'need' than a 'want.'

So with that in mind, I created a bit of a wish list of some of the luxuries I'd like to get for Squidge, whether we'll end up being able to afford these might well be another matter, but it's the plan at least.

Fisher price rainforest open top take along baby swing - £69.99 (currently, £10 off at Mothercare)
Now this is a special one to me.  My nephew had either this exact same one, or one very similar.  The reason it's special is all the lovely memories it brings.  We went over to France to see him when he was about 4 months old, it was the only time I'd been over to france to visit my late brother - we had the loveliest time there and I really remember this baby swing, I loved the rainforest sounds it played and my nephew loved it.  So, it has a bit of sentimental value too.  I know we've already bought a baby bouncer, but I see this as having a different purpose, this is more to rock them to sleep during the day, as well as provide them with entertainment - a good one to take with us when we go somewhere :)

Fisher price rainforest melodies and lights deluxe gym - £49.99 (currently, £8 off at Mothercare)
This is something I've been really thinking about getting - my nephew had something similar to this and he loved it, I've heard great things about these activity mats or 'gyms' too.  This one has lots to look at, different textures and colours and different surfaces, it also has lots of great reviews :)

BT Digital baby monitor and pacifier - £59.00 (currently, £30 off at Mothercare)
Why this one, and why is it luxury?  Well, for me this one is luxury because of the lovely star-show it puts on, how lovely is that?  Yes it'd be nice to have one with a little TV screen on it so we can see the baby, but as long as we can hear them, that's the main thing :)  Squidge will be having glow stars on their ceiling (not above the cot!), so this would go so well with it and provide a little bit of light.

My first teddy bear - £6.99 (Mothercare)
Ok well, this isn't a 'luxury' item but it is seriously cute!  I want to be able to cozy Squidge up with a teddy bear as early on as possible - I still have my very first teddy bear/doll, I called her 'Darling!' and she's in the bedroom with me on the shelf - I love that I still have her and I want that for Squidge.

Tiny Love magical night mobile - £59.99 (Mothercare)
You might remember me linking a different mobile in my first wish list, however I've read some really bad reviews about it since, so I've gone back and picked this one instead - ultimately all I want is a cot mobile that is battery operated so it moves and plays music to lullaby Squidge to sleep :)  This one looks really cute and would look great in the room :)

So there's my 'luxuries' wishlist, let me know if you've used any of these and would recommend them or warn me off them :)


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Week 18 pregnancy update

Left - a letter my mum has from Winston Churchill sent from 10 Downing St - we re-discovered this on going through some of her old things.  Top right - yesterday's nail, a gorgeous red!  Bottom right - last weekend I was on a blog post writing mission on my beauty blog!

It's hard to believe I'm 18 weeks pregnant now, the time is definitely going more quickly.

MY WEEK
I've been a bit emotional this week.  I've had some family things going on, which has brought up the pain of losing my brother in Jan once again.  It's something I've still not really accepted... he lived in France, so I didn't get to see him very often, but we'd talk on the phone or Skype pretty regularly, so I think it's going to take quite a while to really believe he's gone.  As such, I've been feeling sorry for poor Squidge who's been going through this with me, he/she was even at the funeral in France with me, I just didn't know I was pregnant then.  Anyway, that 'family thing' got resolved, only for another one to rear it's ugly head, so I'm trying to ignore that now, as I feel if I acknowledge it, it'll spark a bit of a family feud - long story, but I'm hoping if I ignore it, it'll go away.

Nice thing - as we were back in Pembs at the weekend helping my step Dad sort through some of my mums old stuff, I found her old ante natal record from when she was pregnant with me :)  It was nice reading it, seeing the symptoms she had, the weight gain, the blood pressure and just a record of her going through it.  It was so timely for me to see it, since I'm going through it too - it's just sad she's not here to experience it with me.

SYMPTOMS
Nothing different this week, still quite tired, still wretching all the time and still have a bad back - but that's about it really.  I know I'm really lucky, as I could have it so much worse.

WEIGHT
As we were travelling back from Pembrokeshire today (visiting my step Dad), I missed weighing myself at my normal time, so I'll get back to you next week about this :)

DIET
I have been reading up this week on protein - as I'm vegetarian it's a lot more difficult for me to get protein, if I was a meat eater, I'd just eat chicken regularly and pretty much be ok.  But the curve-ball is that I'm off Quorn (one of the foods that makes me want to be sick), which makes it more challenging. In fact, I didn't realise until this last week that I'm supposed to eat more protein than normal (75g, compared to 45g).  So I'm thinking of re-downloading My Fitness Pal to track the amount of protein I'm having each day to see how much extra I need to eat/find.

BUMP
Still not showing, however, we have some progress :)  On Saturday morning, I was lying in bed on my back and I had a feel of my belly - from the belly button down it's gone really very firm (only when lying down though), and there's like a defined bump rising out of it too :)  I had Chris feel it, and he could really feel a difference, so there's definitely something growing there :D

NEXT SCAN
27th May - can't wait to find out if everything is ok, and if we're team blue or team pink :)

BABY STUFF
Only new thing I bought this week was a cute little pair of baby booties from M&S for £3

A pretty quiet week (not a bad thing!), still looking forward to my scan, but also enjoying finally feeling some changes in my body.  I actually ordered my first pair of plus-size pregnancy jeans today - my jeans are so badly fitting now - they're too baggy around the legs (too big overall really), they fall right down at the back when I sit down, or walk up the stairs (so I have to hold them), but when I sit down, the front really digs into my belly, which can't be good!  Oh, oh, I also ordered a changing bag ready for when Squidge arrives, it might be a little early, but I couldn't resist and it was on sale - I bought the Pink Lining yummy mummy pansies bag from Baby Lurve - so excited to get this!  It has a changing mat inside! Amazing!

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Not feeling pregnant & mum-to-be worries

I always had this vision of what it would be like to be pregnant.  Regardless of being overweight or thin, I'd have a glorious proud bump, feel my baby kick and just have that knowing that you're pregnant.  You hear these stories about how when women do their pregnancy test, they already knew they were pregnant, well, it wasn't like that for me, quite the opposite.

I was just doing the test to prove the Dr wrong, I *knew* I wasn't pregnant, I'd been here several times before, each time convinced I was, then I'd get the negative test and my period that would ensue.  But this time, I had a positive, yes I was happy, over the moon - but I was in shock, I hadn't felt pregnant.

When we look back, we can see I had all the symptoms:

• Very achy boobs
• Missed period(s)
• Off coffee
• Tiredness
• Loss of appetite
• Gone of most of my favourite foods

The list goes on... but I'd attributed that to all the crazy things going on in my life, like losing my brother, having the flu/chest infection/bad asthma and then all the tablets I was on to fix all those things (antibiotics, steroids, increased inhaler and to treat a bout of thrush, canasten (tablet)).

The next morning I did the 2nd pregnancy test that came with the one I bought, and it failed... it didn't give me a negative, but the test simply didn't work, and the control line (or any line) didn't light up.  I went to work and told both my boss's that I was pregnant, but I felt like I was lying to them, and that feeling hasn't really left me.  I thought I'd feel better after my 12 week dating scan.  

I remember when she turned the screen to me to show me little Squidge, I reacted by saying "There is a baby!" and then "Oh my god" in utter amazement.  I have the scan pics to prove he/she is there, but I still don't feel pregnant.

I worry about so many things, I worry about down syndrome, I worry that the canasten tablet I took will have a thalidomide effect on my unborn baby, I worry that because I'm very overweight, that they'll have some horrific defect or heart problem or something, I worry that because I'm vegetarian and I'm totally off quorn I'm not getting enough protein, and that'll really affect my baby... the list is endless. I know there's nothing I can do about it (other than bring more protein into my diet), and I guess I'll never stop worrying, ever...

I'm just counting down the days until my 20 week scan, then I can see that Squidge is still alive, and hope that the reason I haven't felt him/her kick yet is because it's still a bit early, or that my placenta is in front of the baby, I'll see that things are ok (or not) and be reassured that there's still a baby there.  The crazy thing is, I've had no symptoms to tell me otherwise, I've not had any bleeding, no horrific pains other than stretching pains, it's all in my mind.  I get this from my mum, she was a worrier.  But sadly, because she's not with us anymore, I can't just call her up and ask her all of these burning questions I have.

The crazy thing is, I'm not at all worried about when the baby arrives, I know we'll cope, and I can't wait, it's the 'being pregnant worries' that keep me awake and keep my mind from being present.

I really hope these worries go away on the 27th May at my next scan...  I'm not letting myself buy any of the big stuff (i.e. pram, cot, new carpet etc) until we know for sure that Squidge is ok at that scan.


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Week 17 pregnancy update

Left: A selfie before heading to a friends house on Sat night, I took much pleasure in doing a full face of makeup for the first time in a while :)

Top Right: The hubby and I have set up our old Minecraft tekkit sever and have been playing again, this has been much fun!

Bottom right: Weekly purchases - I adore the macadamia hair mask which is normally £30 for that size tub, but they had it for £18 on beauty bay, so with the money I saved I purchased the macadamia 'flawless' to try :)

MY WEEK
You might have seen in my last post it's been a busy week filled with hospital and midwife appointments, nothing to worry about, just the 16 week bloods, and 16 week midwife appointment :)
I still don't feel pregnant though, despite still feeling quite woozy, my appetite not being there etc, I'm convinced something is wrong because of this (I know that's completely normal).  I just can't wait for my 20 week scan so I can find out for sure if everything is ok :)

SYMPTOMS
More retching, and specifically, my first set of throwing up! It was quite comical really, I'm there, brushing my teeth and before I spit out the toothpaste, I feel really sick (this happens every time I brush my teeth since I became pregnant, it's the action of spitting it out). With that, I wretch (again, typical daily occurrence when brushing teeth), then as I spit the toothpaste out, the tea I just drank gets thrown up with it :P

What's funny, I'm there with my head in the sink and I say out loud "Oh my g..." and as I'm saying "god" I throw up more tea :P Very comical :P

Still have the usual lower back ache, I'm also pretty boiling most of the time :)

WEIGHT
Down 3lbs this week, been eating pretty normally, but much smaller quantities of everything, still eating plenty of fruit, but not getting much protein.  I'd usually get that from Quorn since I'm vegetarian, but I'm off that now too :/

DIET
Still off cheese, quorn and anything remotely rich (i.e. anything not plain), loving potatoes still (jacket), mango, grapes and the odd packet of starburst :)

BUMP
Still nothing visible - my friend seems to think she can see a difference, but I'm not convinced!  I still can't really feel a firmness when I lie down, hubby thinks he can but I think it might be wishful thinking.

NEXT SCAN
27th May - it can't come quickly enough! I want to see Squidge and know everything is ok :)

BABY STUFF
Haven't bought anything new this week, although in a couple weeks time we are going over to a friends house as they're selling their crib and some other bits, so we're going to check that out, whoop!

Thanks for reading, I hope you've all had a fab week <3

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A week of appointments

This week has been the busiest week so far of my pregnancy.

On Tuesday I had my 16 week bloods done, including a GTT (Glucose Tolerance Test) - one of the reasons I had to have this is because I'm overweight, and they want to check that my body is still making insulin ok.

Surprisingly (because I suck at paying attention to what's written in letters) I only expected this to be a quick blood test, but when I got there and read the letter, I realised it was at least a 2-hour ordeal.  The appointment was for 8:30, we arrived nice and early at 8:20 and was ready to have my blood take right there and then.  But it wasn't until 8:35 that they managed to draw blood, why?  Because I have terrible veins that collapse as soon as a needle gets near them, and they're tiny, so they're really hard to find.

I had 3-4 people try to take blood from me and they eventually got it from the back of my hand (which is where I told them they'd need to take it from in the first place).  So after 3 stab-wounds (one in my arm, 2 in the back of my hand) I was whisked off to my next appointment.  I had my wee dipped, my BP done (something like 143/85 - pretty average for me) and I was weighed.

After that, I had an appointment with the consultant since I'm having a consultant-led pregnancy due to weight, heart problem (SVT) and my underactive thyroid.  We had to wait for about an hour to be seen, but the consultant was lovely.  She's put me on 75mcg of aspirin as a preventative measure in the hopes I don't develop pre-eclampsia.

I was due to have the downs blood test too... now, I'm going to speak really frank and candidly about this.  When we found out I was pregnant we decided we wanted the downs test.  Ultimately, after long talks, we knew we would terminate if the test was positive (a horrible thought I know).  But when it came down to it, while we were in the hospital I just didn't want to know.  If it came back as high risk, I wasn't prepared to have the amino and then I'd be stressed for the rest of the pregnancy about our baby - we'd rather take my chances and live in ignorance.

After seeing the consultant I had another appointment to see the endocrinologist (hormone specialist - i.e. thyroids).  She increased my dose of thyroxine from 150 (which had been increased since pregnancy) to 175.  Then I was whisked back to have my second blood test as part of the GTT, again from the back of my hand.

Next we had to cash in my prescriptions at the hospital pharmacy, this took aaaaages, over a 1hr wait!

Well, that was Tuesday.  Then today (Thursday) I had my 16 week midwife appointment, this was very short and sweet.  The midwife once again took my blood pressure which was a brilliant 130/80 (perfect!) and sent me on my way.

All in all a very busy baby week!

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